The Opposite Sex: The Prenup

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Time to broach that awkward topic that is inevitable in any serious, long-term relationship: a prenuptial agreement. For a modern man who might be looking to settle down permanently, the issue of a prenup is an important one and simultaneously a controversial one. You have to wonder what the right course of action is, and if you decide to get a prenup, how do you go about consulting your partner?

Before we go any further, let’s take a look at what exactly entails a prenuptial agreement. As is evidenced by its name, a prenuptial agreement is one that takes place before committing to a state of marriage, which can take a number of forms but essentially entails the division of property and spousal support in the case of a divorce or if the marriage breaks up. It’s basically a safeguard against those all too real divorce horror stories which I’m sure we’re all familiar with: one party receives half of the other party’s possessions and estate without doing anywhere near the same amount of earning or work.

So why get a prenup?

Modern men should take pride in what they do and what they bring in. They should take pride in the estate that they are working to establish. A prenup is a way to guarantee that the estate remains intact, regardless of what the future of a modern man’s relationship might entail. It’s logical and rational, simply a business decision. It’s something that a responsible modern man would do in order to protect those hard-earned assets.

There is a counter-argument, however. Does a prenup indicate a lack of trust? Could it doom the relationship? There’s certainly a school of thought that would find these statements to be true. If you don’t have enough faith in your partner and in your relationship to avoid a prenup, then does it make sense to commit yourself to marriage with that individual? If you were already preparing yourself for the marriage to fail, wouldn’t that undermine the marriage itself? These are valid points, and certainly points to consider before going through with a prenup.

With that said, a modern man should still strongly consider getting a prenup. Over time, things change and so do people. A relationship may fail, even if right now it seems like it never could and never will. Through no fault of either party, the strength and passion present in any given relationship could simply fade. Of course, there could be more dramatic and drastic ends to relationships as well. Either way, it isn’t something to just dismiss from the realm of possibilities, and as such it can’t hurt to be prepared for it.

Furthermore, depending on how a relationship ends your partner may feel a whole lot of spite and resentment, two emotions with extreme implications if no prenup is present. You could easily lose half your estate and earnings, and then some, if your partner feels the need to retaliate for the relationship ending. With a prenup in place, however, no matter how the relationship ends a modern man’s estate can be preserved in its entirety.

Approaching the topic of a prenuptial agreement could also be a good indicator regarding how strong the relationship is. If your partner immediately reacts negatively, citing trust issues and negativity as your reasons for wanting to make the agreement, then it’s clear that they don’t actually trust you themselves. If your partner sees your desire for a prenup as a preemptive strike against the impending marital relationship, then your partner don’t trust that your intentions regarding the relationship are in everyone’s best interest. Thus, no trust is present, and their argument is hypocritical.

If your partner agrees to the prenup without much resistance, then this could very well strengthen your relationship. This would be indicative of a trusting relationship, and a mutual acknowledgment between two responsible and consenting adults that taking care of individual finances is a priority. Even more importantly, if a modern man and his partner are able to establish a relationship in which such sensitive topics can be discussed freely and openly, then it’s surely a good sign for the future and a foundation for a long-term relationship that will be hard to top.

The topic of a prenuptial agreement is one that can be controversial and a sensitive one to approach. However, it’s an important one and can have pretty heavy implications for the future of a modern man and his long-term partner. It’s important to go around this discussion the right way, and it’s important to take away the right things from this discussion. If your partner reacts negatively, maybe there isn’t adequate trust in the relationship. If the reaction is an open discussion, then the relationship already has a good foundation from which it can only grow.