The Opposite Sex: Traditional Marriage and Family Lifestyle

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The traditional marriage and family lifestyles prominent throughout the 20th century are no longer so prominent as we move further into the 21st century. The family structure was pretty standard: generally, there would be a father in the role of head of the household, a mother as his complementary caregiver figure, and then a number of biological children to the two of them. Marriage was often considered a permanent decision, and divorce was generally rare, although it did grow increasingly common towards the end of the century.

Nowadays, this concept is no longer quite so commonplace. Divorce is very common, with some people citing statistics that say nearly half of all marriages end in divorce. The family structure is also not quite as patriarchal, and women are just as often the primary contributor to the family’s economic standing as men are. Adoption and other non-traditional methods for procreation are becoming more widely accepted and more commonly used as well.

There is also an acknowledgment of and acceptance of families without traditional parenting setups, with gay marriage being legalized throughout several states to this point. The family structure is no longer limited to a father, mother and biological children, but has now expanded to include families with two fathers, two mothers, single fathers or single mothers, adopted children, and of course families that draw from varying ethnic and racial backgrounds.

The reasons for the decline seem to be pretty straightforward. With the development of technology, communication has become more malleable, and things like the internet and social media have allowed for people to see more instances of people living lives different to their own. The world is no longer being viewed through such concentrated lenses, and the general exposure to varying cultures and lifestyle choices has created a greater sense of acceptance for differences in lifestyle overall.

Economically speaking, there’s more pressure to have two parents earning good salaries, especially living in big cities, in order to live comfortably above the cost of living line. Women are no longer expected to be caregivers, and as such we’ve moved on from that patriarchal emphasis.

In terms of a traditional family and marriage lifestyle, we’ve grown to be more accepting but we’ve also developed some pretty bad habits that exist in stark contrast with the values present in the traditional setting. The rate of divorce is way higher than it used to be, and unfortunately has some pretty negative effects on families from top to bottom. Whether your family consists of two fathers, two mothers, or a mother and father, the 20th century framework established above should still have some appeal and hopefully be attainable.

While many members of our population are happy to be single their whole lives and focus on their careers, or something along those lines, the appeal of a traditional family still has that draw on a large portion of the population. There is still cultural incentive to want a family and to want to take care of them.

So how can a modern man find a partner who will fit into that mold? How can a modern man find a partner who is happy to create a traditional family and lifestyle, to build a family up and work hard to maintain that family structure?

It starts with simply finding a partner who you like. I don’t mean like as in you’re attracted to her or him, or you have feelings for her/him, but simply that you enjoy her presence and enjoy spending time with them. The passion will fade, and if you don’t like your partner that’s when you realize you can’t actually spend your life with them. Once you’ve found someone you like, you have to treat them with respect. Trying to establish dominance or overpower your partner to bend to your own wishes will cause a whole lot of strain and in this day and age will not allow for you to achieve that traditional lifestyle.

You have to find someone who doesn’t look to take charge in the relationship but will also not let you push them around. It has to be a relationship with even contributions from either side. You have to be ready to work hard with your partner, from start to finish, to make the relationship work. Then you have to work hard with your partner to make sure parenthood works. You shouldn’t keep score, and you shouldn’t take turns, but should instead embrace all of your responsibilities together.

Bottom line, you need to find someone who won’t be selfish. There’s nothing wrong with being selfish, especially in this day and age in which earning money is such a competitive endeavor, but being selfish is a death sentence for a relationship. The relationship shouldn’t be wholly for you, but rather its own entity that you and your partner constantly work to maintain. Find a partner who isn’t selfish, who’s willing to work as hard as you will, and you’ll be able to achieve and maintain a traditional family lifestyle.