The Opposite Sex: The Honeymoon is Over
momcilog
The first few months of a relationship are usually always the best. Nobody can do or say wrong, you never want to leave your partner's side, and everything seems perfect. This period of bliss, known as the honeymoon phase, is a beautiful one; until it ends. So, as a man, what is the best way to go about the adjustment from the honeymoon stage to a regular old relationship with plenty of ups and downs?
Great question, indeed.
The honeymoon stage is great, but potentially bad at the same time. Of course, everyone is happy during this stage, but the honeymoon stage is really an unrealistic expectation for how the entire relationship is going to be. In a sense, it sets a standard that simply cannot be met and maintained for the entirety of a long-term relationship. A lot of people don’t take this into consideration when entering a relationship, and they end up getting stuck in something that they really aren’t prepared to handle, post-honeymoon stage. As crazy it sounds, plenty of people enter a relationship thinking that it is going to be flawless, with no perils or issues whatsoever. Well, this mindset is the perfect recipe for quick relationships.
To avoid said quick relationship, there are a lot of different ways to go about handling the adjustments of the post-honeymoon part of the relationship. Here are some things to start off with:
Never settle. If you feel that things are getting dull or boring, then let your partner know. After all, what’s the point of being in a relationship if you can’t be completely open and honest with your partner? If you speak up on your feelings early before problems begin to fester, then steps can be taken to solve whatever is wrong, in this case boredom or complacency.
As continuation of the first bit of advice, one of the most important things to do in order to insure a long-term relationship is to keep things fresh and spicy. It is integral that there is a level of spontaneity maintained throughout a relationship. So, it is up to each partner to learn the likings of their partner, and use that as a way to keep things alive. A lot of people say they don’t like surprises, but in a relationship, people love surprises. Something as simple as switching up the types of dates or outings you go on can be affective. Or, instead of going out, stay in for the night and have a romantic candlelit dinner. It doesn’t have to be anything extravagant or something that will potentially break the bank, but some thought and consideration should be put into it. The simple, well-thought-out things are usually the most appreciated.
From a mentality standpoint, one should remember that relationships are distance runs, not sprints. If you are in for the long haul, than invest 100% effort into it. It isn’t going to be all good all the time, but it isn’t going to be all bad all the time, either, or at least it shouldn’t be. So by knowing this and accepting this, one can mentally prepare themselves for the rigors of a relationship. If you aren’t ready to deal with the downs of a relationship, then don't go into one in the first place with the mindset that it is only going to be ups. You will be sorely disappointed.
When entering into a relationship, one should really consider all of the ramifications of what it takes to maintain a healthy one. Patience, forgiveness, understanding; all of these things and more are necessary characteristics for a solid relationship. As a man, you have to ask yourself if you not only possess these characteristics, but whether you can bring them into use over the course of a relationship. If the answer is yes, then you should be able to go through a relationship, provided it is with the right person. If you can’t, then you probably shouldn’t go into a relationship.
The first stage immediately after the post-honeymoon stage is the hardest to combat because it hits you like a ton of bricks. You learn things that you probably didn’t previously know, and you realize that things you didn’t have a problem with actually might annoy you. But if you can survive those initial few weeks to months of that adjustment period, you should be okay going on. As stated earlier, a relationship is full of ups and downs, which means good and bad. The honeymoon stage is good, the stage immediately after is or can be bad, but if you get through it, you can be back to good times because you worked things out in order for the relationship to survive and maintain. But we are imperfect humans, which means that our relationships are going to follow suit. Relationships are cyclical, so mental strength is important. A weak mind will lead to weak actions and responses. However, if the mind is strong and one is willing to put in the work, the post-honeymoon stage will just be one of many hurdles that can be successfully jumped over.