Parlor Talk: Sports Culture

When it comes to sports, it is proper to be curious about the vagaries of showmanship and the fates of not just your favorite teams but the entire gamut of the enterprise. Right now, we are witnessing the rare feat of a Sports Equinox where all four major American sports leagues — NFL, NBA, MLB, and the NHL — convene regular or postseason games simultaneously. In this enchanting time, we should harvest a seasonable attitude of festivity, even if you lack the urbacity or the locale to find propinquity to a favorite team. Although some might see sports as a gladiatorial diversion from real life. The apotheosis of dignified spectatorship is living for the courageous bravado of embattled teams grappling with titanic pressures to succeed and the high-stakes vertigo of culminated legacies evolving before our feet. So why should we care about sports? We should invest in them because of the festivity of fraternity found when people congregate and huddle around a cynosure of speculation, sometimes with the added wager and others with just a passerby curiosity.

            The brisk celerity of the carousel of events that spiral into contention at this seasonable time create bulwarks of pastimes and yearn for alacritous viewership. Nevertheless, many a donnybrook is provoked by the discord between patrons of rivalrous teams and bumptious outrecuidance on the behalf of some loud wretchocks and their clamorous din of purblind blinkered urbacity or bandwagon whiplash. This can splinter the camaraderie among social groups. What should be done about these fractious bugaboos? For jest and persiflage, most outraged foofaraw provides necessary friction that embalms embattled conflict as a joust between opposing wills. Nevertheless, sometimes the contumely of vindictive counterphobias can culminate in a dissipated state of incendiary anger when the fervor of fandom outweighs the dashpots that absorb the recoil of distaste, creating a rancid situation often exacerbated by stupefaction. In those relatively rare maneuvers, it is best to curtail potvaliant outrage and resort to backdoor propitiation by sacrificing recalcitrant loyalty to appease the affronts of others if only to forge better bonds.

Most of the time, however, disagreements about sports can be an endless wellspring of jaunty raillery that boasts and trashes without ever even a hint of collateral damage. The stagecraft of conflict is often the seed for a deeper fraternity that tastes the vitriol but simultaneously vindicates and vanquishes the doldrums of pacified agreement that can extol enthusiastically. As a fan of the New England Patriots, Colorado Avalanche, Denver Nuggets and San Fransisco Giants, I am gloating over the success of the franchises that reared me into a fastidious obsession with sports statistics at an early age and molded me into a New York contrarian because of how detested the Patriots are in this codling citadel of urbane indifference. Nevertheless, by foisting myself with counterphobia, I feel vindicated with every hard-fought victory wrought by the paragons of sport that outmantle the competition while endearing contrarian breedbates to gamble their parlance on the dainty taunts of urbacity, especially during the duress of an opprobrious season for one of my teams. Sometimes I find the flavor of playful disagreement equally propitiating as a shared fandom because it is always fun to joke about the dyvors and inseminate the world with a slew of memes highlighting the omphalos of laughable wretchocks of the sporting world with latitude and glaikery.

            When I envision the panorama of sports, I distill the primary ethos of the collective endeavor to populate the doldrums of time with cynosures of exemplary grit and effervescent suspense that can be enhanced using gambling including the art of parlays. The vibrant hues of solidarity in all sports can remonstrate against archetypal dimensions of reprehensible qualities while also showcasing the singularity of passion and talent that glistens into eternal memory for the cadasters that swell with statistical utility. As a teenager, I frequented a website called Whatifsports.com where you could erect any fantasy team from any of the four major leagues by culling players from past seasons under a certain salary cap that taxed the finesse of statistical analysis and budgeting acclaim. With sites like FanDuel and DraftKings, we witness similar opportunities for excitement, but I highly encourage visiting Whatifsports.com because the simulation is finely attuned to account for all variables, and any fantasias of speculation about cobbled together teams uniting diverse players from diverse times can be very exciting. Nevertheless, FanDuel and DraftKings are both great sites, but they resemble a lottery more than a bonanza, as the people with the most largesse on statistical prowess command most of their winnings from calculated parlays that fetch much more money. Although I have rarely gambled, friends of mine relish the chance to turn a meager pittance into a substantial sum by parasocial tethering themselves to the outcomes of games they wouldn’t otherwise care about. In this quest for quick riches, however, I exhort other people to maintain frugality rather than profligate inordinate wagers that can sink careers because of intemperance. Even though I don’t bet and others do, you can still enjoy the enterprise of sports without putting any money down, especially if you are fraternizing with either a sodality of like-minded fans or a variegated group of diverse ultracrepidarian bandwagoners that latch themselves for the eternal chase of success beyond the gamut of loyalty. In many respects, all major sports should be heralded for a community organization. Wager or no wager, it creates a fiduciary bond between people and cities and forms fraternal networks that span the globe that hangs on the edge of their seats in the times of greatest contention or rivalry. My hometown teams in Denver are doing pretty well this season, but if you belong to a hapless fanbase beset by the vagaries of injury and insult, you shouldn’t despair. Even in the trifles of disappointment, we can surge on minor moral victories. Nevertheless, I recommend to the members of hapless fanbases get involved in fantasy sports because it creates personal suspense divorced from real outcomes and can fetch money and acclaim on only a pittance. I would be cautionary, however, about the wider world of high-stakes sports betting because it can be a pitfall rather than a bonanza most of the time.

       What matters most about sports is the visceral thrills of competition, especially in tentative situations or rollicking stampedes of victory. We should laud the enterprise of professional sports for providing so much solidarity and hope to a world that needs secular passions to congregate around that can rivet millions into boisterous action in seconds. The enchantment of sports is the indelible hues of nostalgia they provide that anchor different eras with a unique tincture and sprawl into eternal remembrance for the valorous courage exerted by the heroes we all celebrate for their talents as they greatly enrich the world with the scintillating showmanship and gallant bravado. Sports are a beatific feat and among the best human inventions especially because they shape the world into a more festive place.